Golden Gate Bridge
by ExplainingTheIndescribable
Summary: Bella and Hermione have a past that neither one quite got over. One call later and it seems they are soon going to be back in each other's lives, but with both not quite able to communicate silly little things like emotions, how will it end? Probable one-shot.


Hermione answered the phone.

"Hey there little angel"

She stopped walking abruptly and nearly tripped over her own feet. Her mind went blank as face froze in a shocked expression

"You're using a phone"

Nervous laughter echoed down the line

"Yep"

"You realise it's a muggle device, right? You've never… We've never actually talked on the phone before"

"Yes, but we are now"

If not for the captain obvious statements on Bella's side and the sheer shock on Hermione's, it wouldn't have seemed as though they had not been in contact for well over a year. The birthday wishes and happy new year's messages just didn't seem to happen any more.

"What… has something happened? Are you okay?"

"No, nothing's happened, I'm fine dear-"

The term of endearment just seemed to slip out, and was followed by a pregnant pause

"I'm calling because… well… I... I guess I shouldn't have called. I'm sorry"

"Go on Bellatrix"

"Hermione…"

"Please"

"I'm coming to America over summer"

There was another pause. It was just shock after shock for Hermione today. If she wasn't standing on the top of a bridge suspended 746 feet in the air, she probably would have needed to sit down.

She was startled back into the conversation by Bellatrix clearing her throat

"And I was wondering"

There was a silent, deep intake of breath on both sides

"If you wanted to meet up?"

Hermione's mind went into overdrive once more, creating a deafening silence between them.

Bellatrix bit her lip on one end of the line as Hermione's face became stuck in an almost comical shocked expression, on the other. When she finally spoke, it was not the joyous tone of someone getting to finally see a dear friend that they missed, it was closer to the serious tone of someone who had just been asked to make a life-altering decision. And considering their past, it could have been.

"Bellatrix"

"Hermione"

Bella jokingly retorts. Anything to diffuse a suddenly serious situation which needn't have been.

"It took me a year to get over you the first time"

This was met by total and utter silence on the other end. Not even the line crackled.

"I don't think I can do it again"

"I just meant as friends"

Bellatrix tried to cover up her true intentions quickly

"Still… I… Bellatrix, being around you... I'm not sure. After everything that's happened, every promise that didn't last? You used to know me better than anyone alive, you know the lowest points of my life, so maybe consider that context when I say... you should know… Bella, getting over you, over _us_ , was the hardest thing I've ever had to do"

"Hermione…"

"And I only did it because you asked."

That was the kicker. In fact Bella wanted to kick her past self into oblivion for making such a selfish, stupid, life-changing mistake when she was rested her head in her hand, but that was the thing. At the time, she had thought she was being a hero.

There wasn't much of a pause before Hermione realised how it could have come across in a way unintended by the brunette.

"I'm not trying to place blame, I'm just saying that I was trying to respect your wishes. Even when I didn't understand your logic. Even when you said you didn't want to be anything anymore... If I'd thought… For even a second... You know I would have hopped on the first plane to England with flowers and… and… done something crazy like singing outside your window with a stereo to show you… that I loved you and would do anything to make you happy"

Bella's eye were watery from the beginning of Hermione's speech, but now full fat tears are rolling down her cheeks, silently.

Attempting a cheerful voice

"I know angel"

Hermione smiles a small sad smile at the use of that nickname again

"Wow… no one's called me that since… No one's been _allowed_ to call me that, since you" She smiled through the own salty droplets of water threatening to ride to freedom from her eyes and down her cheeks. "What's changed, between then and now?"

"I missed... everything. You, us, how things used to be. I guess nostalgia just creeps up on me... sometimes"

She refrained from mentioning the significance of the date. They both knew it well enough.

A thought struck Hermione. There was one picture she hadn't been able to get out of her mind.

She hated social media with more venom at this particular moment, than she usually did.

"The heart's a fickle thing, huh"

She was greeted by silence at the other end of the line.

"What... what do you mean?"

"You're in love with _a guy_ "

Her tone said it all. Bellatrix had said a lot of things, and made a lot of promises, which she hadn't been able to keep. Through not fault of her own. Fate just seemed to play to it's own design.

At the other end of the line she placed her palm on her forehead and slid it down to cover her eyes. As though she could blockout from her mind the exact picture Hermione was referring to. She knew she shouldn't have let her Christopher post that daft picture on her page. She had had a bad feeling Hermione would see it and misinterpret it. She had been completely, 102% right.

"Yes, I suppose I must be"

It was said sarcastically, but Hermione didn't pick up on that. Of all the promises Bella hadn't managed to keep, this wasn't one of them.

"How long have you been in... love?"

She struggled with the word as though it would bite her own head off if she dared to speak it.

"Well I've known him for… three weeks"

That was about the time he had drunkenly confessed he was gay and in love with Sirius, and she had agreed to beard with him so he had an excuse to hang out at Black Manor at the occasional family get-togethers, and the Yule Ball of course.

"Oh"

"He's my partner for the auror training project… the one I was telling you about"

"Christopher"

"Yep"

"Congratulations"

"Hermione… Angel we're not actually together. I'm not actually in love! Well not with him anyway, you doughnut. Am I just that good at sarcasm now?"

The brunette ignored that second part completely. Her brain was still trying to process the first. And it had been a trying, emotional day. Plus it was really hard to hear anything over the constant wind that came at her unhindered by anything from where she was standing.

"You're not in love?"

"I... ahem...am, in love, just not with him"

There was a pause where Bella starts to say something more, but it turns into a pained sigh. Hermione wipes at the slow tears finally starting to edge down her cheek and whispers

"I am so, so happy for you. I want you to have all the good things in the whole world, and I hope that whomever they may be, that they give them to you. I hope they are amazing and take care of you, and that nothing ever touches either of you. I want that for you. Both of you. You deserve that. You deserve that and so, so much more, and I am so happy for you _mindre_."

Hermione smiles, honestly glad that Bellatrix has someone to make her happy. And heart-crushingly devasted that it isn't her.

She no longer bothers to catch the tears as they continue to fall in a steady stream.

Bella also has tears crawling down her face, and equally makes no attempt to wipe them away. The memory of the first time Hermione called her by that name replayed in her mind on a loop. It was the precursor to their first 'I love you's'.

"Thank you, angel"

Bella pauses, then reconsiders. She had to say something… but she couldn't tell Hermione how she felt, that her angel was the only person she had ever been in love with, and she still was. It had, i fact, occured to her that she probably always would be. And she had fucked it up royally.

"You saved me, just so you know that. You will always be my saviour, angel"

Hermione's smile grew wider as she chuckled softly

"Bellatrix, you never needed saving. You never needed me or anyone. That was all you, every time."

Dark curls bounced as she shook her head "You haven't changed"

Bella smiles despite knowing that the brunette on the other end of the line can't see it.

"Not one bit"

Hermione smiled back

"I have to get back, but I mean it. I hope you are so, so happy and that you never lose love. Alright? Promise me, that you'll always find love. Romantic or otherwise, just don't shy away from it. Promise?"

"I promise!"

Bella gives a full bellied laugh

"How are you still looking out for me..." She shakes her head again "Don't change, my angel. Don't ever, never ever ever, let the world change you." She pauses, and takes a breath "And I promise"

Hermione smiles once more, shuffling her feet at the precipice

"I won't my darling"

Bella leans back in her swivel chair, with one of her legs folded under her, she starts to swing the other slightly underneath herself as she turns to face the computer.

She looks again at the picture strip of the two of them on a trip to Athens, in Monstriaki square. In one they are smiling prettily, in another they're pulling daft faces at the camera. Her favourite is the third though, where their arms are wrapped around each other, foreheads touching, completely enraptured in each other. Bella always felt like that picture showed how they protected each other from the world.

The comfortable silence must come to an end, as they both know.

"Take care, _mindre_ "

Hermione is the first to break the silence, and pulls Bella out of her reminiscing in the process.

A soft knock comes from her door and Bella turns her head to see Andy poking her head around the frame. She can just make out the messy blonde hair of Christopher behind her.

"I'll see you soon Hermione… Actually wait"

There was a mere split second pause. Whether it was the good old nostalgia, the use of that term that held so much meaning, the significance of the date, or all three rolled into one, Bellatrix wasn't ready to let Hermione go again. Not just yet.

"One second"

Bella puts her hand over the receiver and asked Andy to let Christopher wait in the kitchen.

"Hermione?"

"No, I've magically transformed into someone else now"

Hermione replies cheekily, scuffing the tip of her shoe on the metal she's standing on

"Ha de ha ha"

Bella replies dryly, secretly admitting to herself that she misses Hermione's sense of humour. Christopher may be the prize, rich, pureblooded pony her parents want her to be in love with, but he just wasn't fun. Or interesting. Plus could never make her laugh genuinely; at least not in the same way Hermione did. Does, she reminds herself somewhat hopefully, there's still a chance.

"What are you up to over the winter holidays?"

Hermione pauses, this definitely wasn't part of the plan

"Not much…"

She put an effort in to remain as vague as possible, just in case she needed to try and get out of whatever the tone of Bella's voice indicated she was planning

"Come to England?"

Hermione stopped scuffing her shoe against the metal bar.

"…huh?"

Bella laughed

"I mean it. You can stay with my family at the Manor, you can even make your own chambers if you so wish... we can celebrate Yule together. Go together to the Black Ball and everything. It'll be fun!"

Bella wassn't sure if she should be trying to sell this idea. She wasn't even sure if it was a good idea. It was entirely done on impulse. Her own fault for answering the phone, and Hermione's for bringing out her spontaneous side. Another side that seemed to make itself known more often around the brunette witch.

"What? You're really not kidding..."

"Why would I joke about that, hm?"

Bella's no nonsense attitude was always useful for covering up her self-induced nervousness

"…can I get back to you about it? I mean Christmas is in just two weeks… and your family…."

"Oh don't worry about them. If they even ask, we'll tell them you're a halfblood and they'll love you! Even more than they already love the amazing 'friend' who sent me enchanted crystal flowers for my birthday… Andy still teases me about it, regularly"

Hermione smiles but cringes with embarrassment… it felt increasingly cheesy in hindsight, than the elegant bit of magic it was meant to be.

"Ah yes, your sisters do kinda know me from that…"

"And once they meet you, they'll only love you more"

It was said with complete sincerity, because Bella was sure they would come to love her as she did. She even entertained the notion that they would love Hermione more than herself. It was a risk she was willing to take.

But the brunette wasn't sure, it was quite risky…

"I hate to bring this up, but do you remember why we broke up?"

Bella's tone turned icy. She was still angry with herself for the stupid mistakes of her youth. Or what she called her youth. It was, after all, not so long ago.

"This would be different. If you don't want to come just be honest"

"Bella, you know I didn't mean it like that. You know me, you know I didn't mean it that way!"

There was a slight pause.

"I only meant, that I don't want to get you hung or banished or whatever the hell else they could do if they find out there was something. That we were something I mean. Between you and a... muggleborn"

Hermione placed her palm against her forehead. Communication was never their strong suit.

"I… I understand, your concerns. I just… I'm supposedly with Christopher remember. That is the only benefit of the situation... that no one will be suspicius. Besides, do you not know how amazing you are...? You'll have charmed them half in love with you before the end of the first evening. Plus there's no way they could guess. I guarantee, that they won't suspect a thing."

Hermione for once made a decision based on her own emotions, without forethought to the implications of living under the same roof as Bellatrix and the rest of the Black clan over the holiday. She spoke without thinking ahead to what she was agreeing to. And it's just as well she did.

"Alright"

"Alright?"

Bella's hopeful tone wasn't lost on Hermione. It made her smile just that little bit brighter.

"Yes, Miss Black. I accept your invitation. I'll come to England and stay with your crazy family over Christmas, and yes, we will go to the Yule Ball together and"

"it will be wonderful"

They both say those last, entirely unimportant, four words simultaneously

The strong wind whipped Hermione's long hair over her face for the upteenth time. She accidentally tastes a salty tinge in her hair as she extracts in and moves it back behind her ear.

"So I really will see you soon"

Bella's smiling as she closes the web page with their hugging forms pictured in the centre.

"Soon"

Hermione smiles and looks down, scuffing the metal with the tip of her shoe once more

Bella finishes closing her open tabs, and the background is revealed; it's a picture of herself and Hermione at Primose hill. They had gone to see the sunset burning immeasurable shades of red in the background, and ended up missing it because they were too wrapped up in each other to notice. Bella smiled a small sad smile, and looked down at the phone, ending the call.

Halfway across the world on the top of Golden Gate bridge, Hermione was also looking down at her phone and smiling a small sad smile.

Without thinking she scuffed her shoe on the metal bar suspended so far above the water. She didn't look down at the water. She didn't even register that the water was there. All she saw was the beautiful contact picture of a girl she used to know, from when they were in love. Or rather, when they were allowed to be in love. She sighed, still smiling slightly, and closed the end call screen on her phone.

She turned to the right, squinting. She was pretty far from the safety of the wall. Better start making her way back, she had a flight to book and present shopping for England to do. She stepped to the right, deciding what to get Bella's sisters for presents, when her foot slipped. Her other foot was only half on the metal bar, having stepped haphazardly back onto the bridge after scuffing the side. She caught herself, just. Her heart thundered in her chest. Damn, that was a close one! Carefully making sure both feet were securely on the top of the bar, she breathed, told herself to calm down and took a step forward again, when a splash of rain dropped on the bar in front of her. She gulped. Rain was going to make the metal slippery in no time at all. She glanced up, hoping against hope that it was just a freak drop that had fallen. To her dismay, that was the moment the heavens opened. There was no way she was going to make it back across Golden Gate Bridge. Realisation dawned on her slowly. Soon her hair was soaked through, and she could feel the different between the cold, unforgiving rain crawling down her face, and the tears that were racing those raindrops.

She was sorely tempted to give up completely for the second time that day. The universe was done with her, it seemed. She put her left foot out, with the heel against the bar, as though she were going to step right off the bridge into the cold wind and crashing waves below, and she did. She turned that small step into a magnificent dive through the air like an Olympic athlete. This hadn't been part of the plan, but dammit if she was done now; the universe may be done with her, but she wasn't done with the universe. Not yet. She landed perfectly, cutting through the water like a hot knife through butter, hoping she was too far out to avoid the rocks and the shallower edges. A minute passed, followed by another, as is the inevitable passing of time.

A man was driving along Golden Gate bridge, blasting his windscreen wipers on the highest setting possible in an effort to fight the rain that had turned torrential in the space of only a few minutes. His car broke down half way, emitting a noxious smelling gas from under the hood when he got out the car and attempted to open it. He turned away from the rest of the traffic, and pulled out his mobile to call his breakdown company. It was a good thing Sarah remembered to renew their car insurance, and he thought to himself that he must remember to thank her in some way when he finally made it home to the other side of the bridge and home again. He glanced up, looking out at the black waters below welcoming the harsh rain beating down onto the waves as he waited for the operator. Mindlessly daydreaming as he listened to the Ride of the Valykries blasting down his phone, and thinking it was a strange choice of queue music. Out of the blue, right in his line of sight, he saw someone seem to fall off the bridge, and dive into the water. At least, he thought that was what he saw. Confused, he tried to reason it out; no one would voluntarily go diving in this weather, especially not off the bridge, but that only leaves involuntary actions. But if it was suicide, why would the figure dive like that? Why not just fall and die faster? Curiouser and curiouser… he pondered, staring down at the waves with the rain drumming a jungle rhythm upon them. A hand suddenly broke the surface, just a hand. Ride of Valkyries had stopped blasting from his phone, and a tired voice could be heard from the other end, reading an opening line from a script no doubt. It was too late. The phone was locked in the car, and the man was already diving, half way down to the waters. Roger didn't know why he knew, or why he acted as if on instinct. He only knew, that the person that hand was attached to, needed help.

That hand, wanted to live.


End file.
